Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Drunk walkin through police station. America
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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