she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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