at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
