two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
