I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
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