we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize