Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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