He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
