Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
