I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize