he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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