We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
