Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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