This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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