please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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