I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
