Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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