I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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