Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
