You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize