Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
