her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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