I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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