so that wasnt chicken after all
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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