how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
