You work out of a Hotel?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
