great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
