The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize