so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My breasts were aching with rage.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
