The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize