hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
tell me about the eggs
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
