it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
