Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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