Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
a search helicopter?!
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
