discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
