girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
