Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
