How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
