Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
