girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
