i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We are two peas in an std pod
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
