Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
