How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
