who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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