haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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