Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
