In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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