singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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