I heard we made out
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
