just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
