okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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