ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
