and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
