She's JV to your varsity
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
