So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
