Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
