If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
