he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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