Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
