I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
