I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
