yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize