We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
