I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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