So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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