Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
