And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
